Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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