Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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