I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Houston, we have a squirter
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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