weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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