Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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