I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
