ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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