i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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