you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You took a bar mat shot.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
