So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
