While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
