I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
