so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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