i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize