I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
