Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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