I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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