I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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