so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
