i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
