If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
