i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
