Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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