so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
