is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
