Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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