so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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