woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
