Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
