I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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