I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
