plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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