So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize