Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i've created a new STD.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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