This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
