i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
