She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
