What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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