dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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