Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
