Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
