We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
