I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
