question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
