please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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