I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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