then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
