I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
