you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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