Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
