doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize