Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I came so hard my ears popped.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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