We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
