brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
