My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize