I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
