STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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