oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
