I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
