you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
