I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
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