Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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