She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
