is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
