is your mom at the bar?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
