She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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